For women in transition, the obstacles are numerous. The time it can take to become fully comfortable with a drastically changed life is unknowable. Each situation will present its own challenges.
As we look to wrap up our series, these are a few bits of final advice for women facing divorce or the death of a spouse.
TAKE YOUR TIME
We’ve talked often about the immediacy of these situations. While it’s true that acting sooner than later is better, it shouldn’t be taken to mean that you should act in haste. This may be the least comfortable time in your entire life. None of the decisions you face should be taken lightly.
Before enacting or changing a plan, check with someone you trust. Believe it or not, there are those who seek to prey on the emotions of women facing these trying situations. Run your plans and decisions by your family, friends, or trusted professionals. The emotional state you find yourself in could make you vulnerable to those with nefarious intentions.
Make sure that you’re absolutely comfortable with what is happening. Take time to understand your options. Do your homework and come to meetings prepared with questions, as we’ve advised before. Knowledge leads to comfort.
MAP YOUR POSITIONS
Figuring out where you are is as important as knowing where you are going. In fact, figuring out where you are at is the first step in finding your way. Understand your assets, how they can be utilized, and what each one means to your journey. From there, you can begin to understand where it is possible to go.
Your goals should reflect the life you want to lead and the things you value. To get there, you must plot a path that is reasonable. There is no sense digging under the mountain if you can walk the valley floor in comfort. To this end, work with professionals who understand and share your values to reduce possible friction in developing your path.
MAKE A PLAN
Your situation is unique. There is no cookie-cutter response to your desires. The plan you make cannot be exactly the same as someone else. Your plan must be tailored to your situation and you should seek out those who can help tailor it.
Try to avoid one-size-fits-all solutions that seem too good to be true. The chance that your circumstances require customized attention is very real. When your plan doesn’t have a contingency for it, a new problem is created.
Your plan must have your goals at its end.
You don’t have to do this alone. The road ahead will be tough, make no mistake. It may be easier traversed with an experienced professional who has walked a similar path on many occasions before.
There is always a need for a double check. Your guide can help move your route forward, make sure your destination is aligned with where you actually want to end up, and watch for pitfalls along the way.
The bottom line is that there are people whose job it is to help see you through these difficult times. The same way you’d hire a mechanic to fix your car, you should hire a financial professional to guide you when facing divorce or the death of a spouse.
To be sure, there is no magic potion that makes it all better. There will likely be tears and dark days ahead. But your financial dealings do not have to be the source of those tears and dark days.
While it will ultimately be up to you to make the decisions that best suit you, but know that you need not endure this time in solitude. Perhaps the best advice we can give is to let people in, even when it seems convenient to shut them out.
We wish you the best and hope that love and the service of those around you carry you through your time of need.